Also in 2024 Test B English, question 4.
Question
Read this paragraph.
(1) When coal was used to heat homes, it frequently left soot stains on the walls. (2) Brothers Cleo and Noah McVicker, who owned a cleaning product company created a doughy substance to help people remove this soot. (3) Over time, as natural gas becomes more common, people had little need for soot cleansers, and the McVickers’ family company struggled to stay in business. (4) Then one day Joe McVicker, Cleo’s son, learned that his sister-in-law had been using the substance for art projects in her classroom, so he remarketed the product as the toy known today as Play-Doh.
Which pair of revisions need to be made in the paragraph?
- A
Sentence 1: Delete the comma after homes.
Sentence 3: Change becomes to became.
- B
Sentence 1: Delete the comma after homes.
Sentence 4: Change remarketed to had remarketed.
- C
Sentence 2: Insert a comma after company.
Sentence 3: Change becomes to became.
- D
Sentence 2: Insert a comma after company.
Sentence 4: Change remarketed to had remarketed.
Show the answer
Correct answer: C
This is the answer (C)
The question asks for the pair of revisions needed to correct the errors in the paragraph, which appear in sentence 2 and sentence 3.
Option C is correct because it is the only choice that revises the errors in both sentence 2 and sentence 3.
In sentence 2 (Option C and Option D), a comma needs to follow the word “company” to set off the phrase “who owned a cleaning product company.” A comma is necessary because the phrase is a nonrestrictive clause: the phrase provides extra information about Cleo and Noah McVicker’s line of work, but the phrase is not necessary in order to understand the meaning of the sentence.
The second error is in sentence 3 (Option A and Option C), which incorrectly shifts the verb into the present tense. The clause “as natural gas becomes more common” should be “as natural gas became more common.”
The comma after the word “homes” in sentence 1 (Option A and Option B) is necessary for separating the subordinate clause “When coal was used to heat homes” from the main clause.
In sentence 4 (Option B and Option D), the word “remarketed” is in the past tense established in the rest of the paragraph and should not change to the past perfect tense “had remarketed.”
Question analysis
This editing question gives a short paragraph about how a soot cleaner became the toy Play-Doh and asks which pair of revisions it needs. Students must check comma use and verb tense, and because each choice pairs two edits, one correct fix can hide a wrong one.
- Grade level
- Grade 6 reading and task
- Compared with grade 7
- At grade 7 Comma rules and verb tense are taught by grade 6, but here the student must judge four separate edits and accept a choice only if both of its edits are needed, which matches grade 7 demand.
- Estimated difficulty
- Moderate: several steps, or a close reading with one strong distractor.
- Thinking it demands
- Depth of knowledge 2, skills and concepts · mainly apply
- What makes it hard
- A rule that doesn't sound wrong moderate
- A very close wrong answer moderate
- Every choice must be checked minor
- Evidence
- Answered from one paragraph or stanza
- Reading level
- Question and choices: about grade 7, 155 words.
- Students, last 30 days
- Not enough answers yet to show (it takes 10).
Why it is hard, traps and wrong answers (shows the answer)
Why it is hard
The paragraph holds two errors of different kinds, an unclosed “who” clause and a slip into present tense, and the other two proposed edits change text that is already correct. Students who catch the tense shift but not the comma are left between two pairs, and many then delete the sound comma after the opening “When” clause. The question rewards finding both errors in the paragraph before reading the pairs.
A rule that doesn't sound wrong moderate Working it out
The “who owned a cleaning product company” clause opens with a comma but never closes, and sentence 2 still reads smoothly aloud, so the missing comma after “company” is easy to miss. (Connors & Lunsford, 1988)
A very close wrong answer moderate Choosing the answer
The right pair and the pair that deletes the comma after “homes” share the “becomes” to “became” fix, so only the comma edit, after “company” or after “homes”, tells them apart. (Embretson & Wetzel, 1987; Gorin & Embretson, 2006; Ascalon et al., 2007)
Every choice must be checked minor Choosing the answer
The four pairs draw on four possible edits in four sentences, so each edit has to be judged on its own and a pair accepted only when both are needed. (Embretson & Wetzel, 1987)
Strategy: Find the errors yourself before looking at the pairs: check whether each comma is needed or missing, and check that each verb's tense fits when its event happened.
Traps
- Punctuation: A comma, semicolon, colon, dash or apostrophe used where it does not belong, or missing where it does.
- Verb tense or form: The wrong tense, an inconsistent shift of tense, or a wrong verb form.
- Fixes what isn't broken: Changes a part of the sentence that was already correct, while the real error stays; or, where the question asks which sentence has an error or should go, picks one that is correct and belongs.
The wrong answers, classified
A Punctuation (Connors & Lunsford, 1988)
Gets the “becomes” to “became” fix but, missing the unclosed “who” clause in sentence 2, deletes the comma that correctly ends the opening clause of sentence 1.
B Fixes what isn't broken (Connors & Lunsford, 1988)
Changes two correct parts, deleting the comma after an opening clause and adding a needless past perfect, while both real errors in sentences 2 and 3 stay.
D Verb tense or form (Connors & Lunsford, 1988)
Adds the needed comma after “company” but thinks the later event needs “had remarketed”, missing the real tense error, the present-tense “becomes” in sentence 3.
Working it out, step by step
Figure out what the question asks
Each choice is a pair of edits. You need the pair where both edits are needed. If even one edit in a pair changes something that was already right, that pair is wrong. The best plan is to find the errors yourself first. Then look for the pair that fixes them.
Check the comma in sentence 2
Sentence 2 says “Brothers Cleo and Noah McVicker, who owned a cleaning product company created a doughy substance.” The part “who owned a cleaning product company” is extra information. The sentence still makes sense without it. Extra information in the middle of a sentence needs a comma on both sides. Example: My aunt, who lives in Ohio, sent me a card. Sentence 2 has the first comma but not the second. So you need to add a comma after “company.”
Check the comma in sentence 1
Sentence 1 starts with “When coal was used to heat homes.” That part is a dependent clause (a group of words with a verb that can’t stand alone as a sentence). When a sentence starts with one, a comma goes after it. Example: When the bell rang, we ran outside. So the comma after “homes” is correct. Deleting it would add an error. That rules out choices A and B.
Check the verb in sentence 3
Verb tense tells when something happens. This paragraph tells a story from the past, so its verbs should stay in the past. Sentence 3 says “as natural gas becomes more common.” The word “becomes” is present tense. But the same sentence uses “had” and “struggled,” which are past tense. So change “becomes” to became.
Check the verb in sentence 4
Sentence 4 says Joe learned about the art projects, so he “remarketed” the product. Remarketed means sold it again in a new way. The form had remarketed is for something that happened before another past event. But Joe remarketed the product after he learned about the art projects. So the plain past “remarketed” is right. No change is needed.
Find the pair that matches
The two needed edits are: add a comma after “company,” and change “becomes” to “became.”
- A fixes the verb but deletes a correct comma.
- B makes two changes that are not needed.
- D adds the comma but changes a verb that was already right.
- C makes exactly the two needed edits.
So the answer is C.
Why this answer and not the closest wrong one
Choice A is the closest wrong answer, because it has the same “becomes” to “became” fix. But A also deletes the comma after “homes,” and that comma belongs after an opening “When” clause. Only C fixes both real errors and changes nothing that was already right.
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